he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
