We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
