ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
