I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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