He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to sanitize my soul.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
