you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
