The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
