I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
