be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
