I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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