Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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