I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
