Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
