I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
