i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
