Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
