we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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