I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
