I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
