I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
