she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
