my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize