I can tuck mytits in my pants
so let's talk penis.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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