i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Is it because I queefed?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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