i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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