I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
