I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
