You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
