I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Randomize
