found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Houston, we have a squirter
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
