i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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