Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
