Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
