i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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