look no pants
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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