moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
