So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
