Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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