and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
