watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
