Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
