his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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