If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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