After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
