Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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