we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
