On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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