Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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