I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
