3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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