He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
