My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
