I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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