yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
